Apparently, This Is How You End Up on the Floor With a Chair on Top of You

There are questions in life that may never be answered.

Why do socks disappear in the dryer?

Why does the coffee always run out when you need it most?

And how, exactly, does a perfectly capable grown woman manage to fall out of a computer chair and end up on the floor with the chair on top of her?

For months, that last one has bothered me.

And naturally, we have Barb to thank for it.

Previously, in the Craft Room…

A few months ago, Barb was here for one of our regular craft-room adventures.

She had pulled up the old computer chair to the desk across from me and was doing what Barb does best: keeping me company while asking approximately 98 questions about whatever I happened to be making.

I was minding my own business, working away, when suddenly—

KER-BANG.

I looked up.

No Barb.

Then I looked down.

There she was.

On the floor.

With the computer chair on top of her.

Now, I would like the record to show that I did eventually ask if she was okay.

But first?

I laughed.

And laughed.

And asked the obvious question:

“HOW did you even manage to do that?”

Because seriously. One minute you’re sitting in a chair. The next minute you’re underneath it. There seemed to be several important steps missing from this story.

Barb couldn’t really explain it.

So naturally, it became craft-room folklore.

For months I’ve brought it up.

“I still don’t understand how you ended up on the floor with the chair on top of you.”

Turns out I just needed to keep asking.

Because apparently the universe finally got tired of hearing me.

Fast Forward to Yesterday…

I was having one of those not-particularly-glamorous Paper Artist workdays.

I was making a few Thanksgiving bag charms, pulling out fall greeting cards, packaging bracelets and getting everything organized to take into the store.

This is actually a pretty big part of running my little handmade business that I don’t talk about very often.

Making things is one thing.

Getting them ready to leave the craft room is another.

There are prices to add, bracelets to package, cards to sort, stock to count, charms to finish and approximately 47 little things that somehow turn a quick restock into an entire day.

Naturally, coffee was involved.

At some point I needed something from one of the storage bins underneath my desk.

So there I was.

Sitting in the chair.

Yes.

That chair.

I leaned down and started digging through a bin.

And then—

KER-BANG.

Suddenly I was on the floor.

And there was a chair.

ON. MY. HEAD.

OH.

So that’s how you did it, Barb.

Mystery solved.

I would formally like to withdraw several months’ worth of ridicule.

Well…

Maybe not all of it.

But some.

Because as I sat there assessing the situation—with a smack to the back of my head, a heel that got ripped up in the process, and one ridiculously heavy 1990s computer chair apparently attempting to finish me off—I had only one thought:

Barb is not always the klutz.

Just most of the time.

🤣

Behind the Pretty Pictures

There is something else I love about this ridiculous little story.

Most of what you see here is the finished stuff.

The completed bracelet.

The pretty card.

The finished notebook.

The nicely arranged photo where everything looks calm, organized and suspiciously free of bodily injury.

What you don’t always see is the day spent getting everything ready.

The bins pulled out.

The packaging everywhere.

The last-minute stock.

The bracelet that still needs a price tag.

The greeting cards you’re sure you put right there.

The coffee that’s gone cold.

And apparently, occasionally, the business owner lying on the floor underneath office furniture.

Small business glamour, people.

It’s real.

The Chair Remains Under Investigation

For now, the chair is still here.

Sitting innocently in front of the craft desk as though it hasn’t recently taken out two members of the Bead Dynasty.

I don’t trust it.

Barb probably shouldn’t trust it.

Frankly, nobody should turn their back on it.

So if nothing else comes from sharing today’s little Friday story, perhaps someone will feel moved to donate us a computer chair that will stop trying to kill us.

Potential chair sponsors, please note our requirements:

Comfortable.

Stable.

Preferably from this century.

And we’d really like it if both occupants and chair could remain upright at the same time.

It’s a low bar.

But apparently it’s where we are now.

Happy Friday, friends.

May your coffee be hot, your craft supplies be plentiful…

and may your office chair remain underneath you where it belongs.